There are some couples who spend every night together. They eat dinner together, sleep together, talk or text throughout the day, and generally are in touch 24/7. That’s all well and good, but sometimes there’s such a thing as too much together time. When we first start dating someone, it’s like magic. Uncovering someone else’s secrets is intoxicating. What do they smell like? What kind of underwear do they wear? What’s their favorite food and cocktail? What makes them tick? You see each other a few times a week and get giddy at the sight of a text with their name as the receiver. Flash forward 3 years and you get used to that new car smell. Relationships become so familiar that you don’t see all the little things that make your partner special. That’s why I am such a big believer in alone time; and friend time- apart from each other. Go to the movies alone, get drinks with your friends, take a trip somewhere…without your partner. It reinvigorates the relationship to not be attached at the hip. It gets you excited to see your love if you haven’t already heard about their day in 15 texts. In case you haven’t guessed I’m a car freak. So, here’s another car metaphor to describe a long-term relationship. If you have a gorgeous Porshe sitting in your garage and you drive it everyday, after awhile it won’t make your heart race anymore. But if you take it out for a long drive once a week, it’s more of an experience you look forward to. Everything gets old if you do it all the time (including sex). So if things are getting kind of old between you and your mate, try missing each other. It makes the time you do spend together that much more special.
Molly Papp, MPH, M.S., LMFT
Ph: (562) 356-8686 Ext. 705; Email: firstname.lastname@example.org